Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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