I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
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I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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