ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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