She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
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I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
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You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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