I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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