he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
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Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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