The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
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It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
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I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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