Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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