Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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