Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Welp...herpes.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
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Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
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So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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