even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I currently don't understand fingers.
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