The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize