We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
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