i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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