toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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