I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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