I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize