I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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