Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
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dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
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You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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