Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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