i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
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When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
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He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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