I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
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Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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