i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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