i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize