Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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