yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
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What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
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Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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