no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize