I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize