He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
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Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
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Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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