your room smells of hookers.
And success
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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