No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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