I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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