rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize