so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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