super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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