How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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