don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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