the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
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