I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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