his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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