The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize