I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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