I think im going to throw up on grandma
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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