How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize