I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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