and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize