Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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