He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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