I'm eating all of the evidence.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize