Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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